Which one's my future self?
by Bored Konoha Kunoichi
Summary: SasuSaku. "So in future fics, there's the weak Sakura, the cold one...""The shy Sasuke, the dark, ...and *coughcough* the horny one..." "who are you and what have you done with my Sasuke-kun!"


**A/N**: Hi everyone!! Okie, so this was just some random idea that popped up in my head, so too bad if it's random

So I'm picking on Sasuke and Sakura in this one, so hope you enjoy:)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT own Naruto...it belongs to the great Kishimoto-sensei, and I'm a _Korean **Girl**_ thank you very much, not a Japanese man. But if I did own Naruto, Sasuke would be making out with Sakura at somewhere secret at the moment...lol (no I am not kidding)

**Warning**: Not much...I guess...it's rated T, so just some usage of a couple foul languages, and _just_ a couple of suggestions -winkwink- And I'm not American, so expect some grammer/spelling mistakes...

And one more thing, I did not write this to offend _ANYONE _got it? So don't you dare come suing me or w/e.

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Italics- Sakura speaking 

**Bold- **Sasuke speaking.

-action- obviously, it's an action

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_Okay, so hi everyone! Today, I'm just here to tell you my opinions about future fics. I mean they're great, and- _

-rustle-

_Who goes there!_ -_flings out a kunai and throws it towards the sound-_

**Hn. Pathetic aim, Sakura**.

_-Gasp- Sasuke-kun! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be elsewhere chasing after your mass murderer excuse-of-a-brother?_

**Hn. Had some things to say about the same topic. And I'm on a bit of a break at the moment. And don't take the fact that I'm here the wrong way. I'm not back for you or to go back to that stupid village, so don't even try hugging me or crying. It's annoying.**

_-frowns- I wasn't planning on doing any of that…mumbles "bastard…" Okay, anyways, back to the point! Yes, so I've read many future fics lately, and I've seen similar personality Sakuras in the story._

**And Sasukes.**

_-rolls her eyes- Yes, that also. So first of all, there's the go-happy-Sakura that starts crying when Sasuke comes back or whatever, like how I used to be when I was 12._

**That was quite annoying.**

_It's not your turn, Sasuke-kun, now shut up._

**I don't care, Sakura. As for the Sasukes, there's the shy/awkward one that regrets going to Oto and makes it quite obvious and proclaims his love for Sakura, stuttering. -snorts-**

_Yeah, what he said. And second, there's the incompetent, shy and "innocent" Sakura that can't protect herself in mission, and her medic skills are quite low (unlike mine) so she's useless._

**Then there's the emotionless and insensitive Sasuke that usually does come back to Konoha that goes anti-social, and goes in denial due to Uchiha pride.**

_The third Sakura is the cold, brooding one that had gone anti-social as well, and had become heartless after Sasuke's departure, and loathes him._

**The one I've seen a lot is the dark Sasuke full of blood lust that still kills for fun after revenge and is quite violent and heartless.**

**And the one that is not as common as the others (or so I think because I don't really read M-fics) is the -cough, then slight blush- horny…one that wants to repopulate the clan BADLY.**

_-Also blushes- Yeah, the last Sakura is the so-called "seductive" one that tries to get under Sasuke-kun's pants every chance she gets. (Literally…I've read these fics)_

_Okay, so let's start with the go-happy Sakura that cries._

**Who is usually paired up with the emotionless Sasuke.**

_Well, seriously, I don't cry that much! That was just when I was 12 and was stupid. I'm 15 now, and I didn't start weeping when I saw Sasuke-kun! And I doubt that I would "cry in pain" in the later years…_

**And in these fics, I usually don't even give a damn at first, but then starts "feeling" and goes in denial. I'm not THAT heartless…okay, maybe I am…and I am NOT egoistic. I have a great Uchiha pride, that's all. -smirks- And I think this is the most practical one so far. **

_Yes, I agree. You are really arrogant and cold, you know. And you can't argue._

**-sigh- fine. Whatever. -glare-**

_Moving on. So we come to the incompetent Sakura. Some of the fics were written quite a long time ago, before the time-skip, so people had to use their imaginations about my skills, and that's understandable, I guess. But I'm not WEAK. Damn, like in some fics, I can't even heal my own wounds or anyone else's, so there's really no skill what-so-ever except being referred to as "the medic of the team"._

**Just to let you know, yes you are weak**.

_-Death Glare-_

**-Ignores her- So this Sakura is usually paired up with the awkward OOC Sasuke or the dark one. And let me tell you people, there is a reason why the awkward Sasuke is **_**called**_** OOC, okay? These Sasukes tend to blush and stutter a lot. Guess what? Uchiha men DO NOT blush or stutter. We are calm and collected, thank you very much. The OOC Sasukes starts acting "sweet" towards Sakura, and goes…er…**_**romantic**_**. Look guys, I know these are called fanfiction for a reason, but I don't do sweet, or romantic. I don't even know the definition of those words.**

_Well, I really appreciate those who write OOC Sasukes because that would basically be my dream come true. I can soo imagine Sasuke-kun giving me red roses, and-_

**Sakura. Stop. It's giving me horrifying mental images.**

_-Crosses arms- Well, I can __dream__, can't I Sasuke-kun? Seriously, I would love it if you were at least just a __bit__ like the OOC Sasuke. But yeah, in reality, I don't think that's ever really going to happen, unless you get hit in the head during your "revenge", gets an Amnesia, comes back to Konoha and fall in love with me! -squeals-_

**-twitches- Suuuuuure that's going to happen…**

_God, I was only kidding, Sasuke-kun. Geez. And these are future possibilities, so who knows, maybe you'll change as time passes._

**-rolls eyes- Anyways, like I've said, the incompetent Sakura also goes with the dark Sasuke, where he come back to Konoha or just somehow "kidnap" her and take her to his base or whatever, and Sakura can't fight back, and he makes her do whatever he wants her to do. This Sasuke is quite the sadic, and believe me, even though I would do basically anything to gain power, I wouldn't go **_**that **_**insane and blood-lusty…or who knows. -shrugs-**

_I REALLY hope you don't turn out like that, Sasuke-kun, because just thinking about that while reading some of the fics gave me the chills -shudders- And I don't think I'll enjoy being a prisoner at Oto and get beaten up or whatever._

**-frowns- Do you really think I would hurt you?**

_-shrugs- You looked pretty ready to kill me back at the sound base. -gasp- Wait, does that mean you would never really hurt me? Awww!_

**-twitches- I DID NOT mean that, Sakura…**

_That's so sweet!!! -giggles-_

**-more twitches- S.H.A.R.I.N.G.A.N!!**

_-laughes nervously- a..ah…er, you know I was only joking, Sasuke-kun! God, you take everthing too seriously for your own good. So back to the main point. So there's that third Sakura that's really distant and heartless. In most stories, this Sakura gets cold after Sasuke-kun leaves, and hates him for calling her weak. Then she stops smiling, and stops talking to her friends…and usually, I saw that it's usually only Naruto, Kakashi or Tsunade she "communicates" with. But she's REALLY strong, and usually is a solo assassin or hunter-nin._

**Yeah, and this Sakura is I think usually paired up with all the OOC, Dark and cold Sasuke…with the OOC Sasuke, he goes, "Did I make her this way?" and starts feeling really guilty and acts warm towards her, which usually end up with Sakura having a break-down with he crying and all. Then Sasuke ends up comforting her, and etc.**

_That would be totally awesome!! I mean, I would be really strong, AND I would end up with Sasuke-kun! But I don't really like the "being cold" part…I mean, Sasuke-kun left me 2 1/2 years ago, and I'm still fine! Unless the bastard goes and does something wrong and break my heart again…then there's a possibility I go scowling 24/7, I guess._

**-cough- smiling fits you better, Sakura…**

_Thanks, Sasuke-kun! -once again, gasp. A **really** loud one- Oh my god, did you seriously just say that? Who are you and what have you done with my Sasuke-kun?_

**-exasperated sigh- Shut up Sakura, it IS me…once again, back to the main point. So with the cold Sasuke, a fight starts between the two and they loathe each other for some time. Then either one gets REALLY hurt and runs away or w/e and the other feels guilty, or the fight leads to something else and confessions galore. -rolls eyes-**

_Hm…that sounds reasonably practical…but I think I still like the sweet Sasuke the best -giggles-_

**-mutters- annoying woman…and lastly, with this Sakura, there's the Dark Sasuke who tortures her, but she rebels strongly against him, and Sasuke gets irritated of her attitude, but falls for her in the end…actually, I don't know how these ones end, because I don't think I've ever gotten to the end of these.**

_Neither do I. But Sasuke-kun, does this mean you actually take time to read these when you really should be training for your revenge?_

**Er…maybe.**

_-Narrows eyes- So that's why it's taking you so long to kill that weasel bastard! You read fanfiction instead of training? God, maybe you would've been already back if you weren't in front of the computer when you should've been training ruthlessly!_

**Shut up Sakura, I'm still stronger than you, and I only have limited hours in the training field…Orochimaru wouldn't let me train all day, so I had to find something to do…and I plan to kill my brother pretty soon, so whatever. **

_Hmph! You better!_

**-rolls eyes- Since Sakura **_**refuses**_** to go on, I'll talk.**

_Hey, I never said-_

**So lastly, there's the…em…cough horny…one. In these fics, Sasuke's either back in Konoha or is the Otokage and wants to repopulate his clan…badly. So he either kidnaps Sakura, if he's the Otokage, or just sort of forces her or -coughcough- seduces…her. **

_Aw, Sasuke-kun's embarrassed!! -giggles-_

**-glare-**

_So this Sasuke is usually paired up with all the Sakuras except the cold one…I think, since I usually don't read M-fics. And he can be paired with the equally horny Sakura, and that's usually above T…(or it better be) And the er, "seductive" Sakura's are paired up with all the Sasuke's, unless Sasuke forgot to mention one, and the story line is usually the same for each pairing...Sakura turns on Sasuke, then er, lemon...-blushes- Sasuke-kun, do you have anymore?_

**I think I'm done with the Sasukes.**

_Oh, I forgot one Sakura. It's the most practical one, mostly from the people who has read chapters after the time skip, and it's the strong, cheery one that knows when to get serious, like in battles. She's kind and "beautiful", and sometimes violent, but yeah, that's her. I think this Sakura is paired up with all the Sasukes, and I would love to turn up like that! I mean, being called "beautiful" would be nice._

**-snorts--mutters- I swear she probably never looks in the mirror…she's already pretty…**

_Hm? What was that, Sasuke-kun?_

…**nothing.**

_No, I don't think you're okay…your face is flushed! Are you sick? -puts a hand on his forehead- You are a bit warm…_

**-slaps her hand away- don't…do that…-turns around-**

_Well, sor-ry, mister ice-cube! I was just worried that I forgot that you didn't like contact for a moment! Hmph! Maybe you just talked too much…I don't think I've ever heard you talk that long in my lifetime. I thought you only spoke "necessary" words, and otherwise, you would just grunt._

**Hn. It **_**was**_** necessary.**

_There you go again! "Hn" is NOT a word! _

**Hn.**

_-growls- Errr, whatever. Like I care anymore. So yeah everyone, thank you for your time and listening to us! And really, no offense to ANY of you writers, because it IS called fanfiction. smile You guys can write about us however you want! Who knows how we're really going to turn out when we get older._

**Hn. Though some of these fics really are pathetic, and OOC.**

_Sasuke-kun! That's not nice! Sorry guys, he did NOT mean that. All of you are great writers! -nudges him REALLY HARD in the side--whispers- apologize, now!_

**Hn…-winces in pain-…sorry.**

_-glare- like you mean it, Sasuke-kun!_

**-sighs-…I, Uchiha Sasuke hereby sincerely apologize for disparaging all the creative, bright writers out there that make this site run. There, happy?**

_-smiles- much better. But I've been thinking…_

**-snorts- I'm glad you can think.**

_-glare- anyways, I've been thinking, and I still can't really imagine a horny Sasuke…puts a finger on her chin and giggles I bet you don't even have hormones, Sasuke-kun. I mean, after all those years you've spend with the pedophile (Orochigaymaru), I wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly confessed that you were homosexual. -giggles again-_

**-scowls- Sakura…-eyes widen for a moment, then smirks- Well, there weren't really any **_**pretty**_** girls at the sound base…and since I've been stuck in there so long, I have something in mind we could do that proves my sexuality quite clearly…-smirks devilishly and starts approaching Sakura-**

_-walks back, hits wall- A…ha…Sasuke-kun, I really think I gotta-mmph!! Sasu- ooh…mm…_

-everything goes dark-

-BEEP- I'm sorry, but the rest of the story has been censored due to the er… "inappropriate ratings change". Thank you.

-_**Somewhere in Konoha**_-

-_**Jiraiya, Naruto and Kakashi sits in front of the computer**_-

"Dang it!!" –Naruto-

"Aw, it was just getting good, too!!" –Kakashi-

"Wait…since I'm over 18, I can go read it! Yay!" –Jiraiya-

"Cool! So can I!" –Kakashi-

"Wait, what about me?" –Naruto-

-Kakashi and Jiraiya kicks Naruto out the door-

"And don't come back in!!" –Jiraiya-

"NOO!! I wanna read, too!! You have no right to kick me out of my own house!! NOOO!! I wanna read teme and Sakura-chan make out!!! Let me in!!! Let me in!!!" –Naruto-

-**The End**-

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**A/N: **Yes, like I've said, full of SasuSaku randomness...hope you guys still liked it, though 

And about the part w/ Sasuke going "pathetic writers" _that_ was just Sasuke being mean, and I don't think of anyone on this site like that, so yeah...hopefully no one got offended, because I didn't mean to offend thems orry if I didT.T this might be sounding retarded, but I'm new and quite scared of flaming and the staff deleting stories and kicking people out...so yeah

So guys, please review if you liked the story, or you could give me _constructive criticism_...yes, constructive criticism, no flames

Really, don't bother flaming- it's not worth your time typing nor mine reading..

Thank you once again, n c ya:)

-REVIEW or I shall send Itachi after you MWAHAHAHA!!!!-


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